i heart gorfang

Pink armor dye? Oh fuck yes.

2010-05-25T08:06:00.000-07:00

Another wish granted: This guy magically appeared in IC today. I am now officially the happiest motherfucker on earth.

The vendors were put in place to show support for Pink for Tink (Andrew has a pretty good writeup about it). As the proud owner of a pair of boobs I must say this is a really fucking cool thing for Mythic to do. You can buy Slaanesh Pink and Light Purple Dye from him (15.40 silver per bottle), so you can, uh, show your support for breast cancer. Or metrosexuality. Or superior fashion sense. Or maybe just to show all those uncouth scrubs on the battlefield just how macho you really are.

Slaanesh Pink Dye

Light Purple Dye (looks like just a darker pink)

So I fully expect all of you fuckers to be rocking pink at some point this week. Boobies everywhere will be very happy. The dye colors are only available for a limited time. All that new bank space I just bought? Yeah. I'm putting it to work.

1.35 FAQs: I fear change!!

2010-05-19T09:17:00.000-07:00

Some questions people are asking upon logging in:

Q. ZOMG WHARS ALL MAH BAGS/LEWT??

A: /reloadui. It's a bug apparently. [FIXED]

Q. DISAPPEARING CAST BARZ??

A. TA DAAA! /reloadui. Cast bars are for the weak! Mine at the moment is stuck at 20% opacity. Better than nothing I guess. Either /reloadui or disable/reenable addons. [FIXED]

Q: WHAR I BUY MOAR BAG/BANK SPACE???

A. FIXED. Go to your bank NPC and click on tabs 2 or 3 to see space available for purchase. Clicking each little Lock icon will unlock that row for use and cost an increased amount of gold with each consecutive purchase.

Cost to purchase all 10 rows of Tab #2: 153 gold
Cost to purchase all 10 rows of Tab #3: 938 gold

Q. WHERE'S THE RENOWN/CAREER TRAINER??!11111

A: Monolith/ Orange splotch on the IC map.

Q. WHERE'S THE [insignia] QUARTERMASTER???

A. Undercroft/ Red splotch on the IC map.

Q. Where did you get that AWESOME anorexic LOTD horsey?

A. Regular mount vendor for 30 Invader crests. 65% run speed, 50% chance to get dismounted upon taking damage. Lasts for 30 realtime days. You didn't break down all your crests, did you?

Q. I can't take anything out of the guild vault!! T_T

A. Neither can I. Lame. [FIXED]

Best scenario weekend ever

2010-05-17T12:46:00.000-07:00

My wish came true! Khaine's Embrace in T4 was a fucking blast. (See that pun... damn I'm good.) It was the most fun Weekend Warfront I have had so far, not only for nostalgia's sake, but staggering unsuspecting Order players for 9 seconds while they watch in horror as the bomb explodes next to them = endless hilarity.
Oh, and Aldel and I discovered the super secret message Mythic placed in the scenario for us:

Brace yourself everyone! Incoming third faction: Down's Syndrome Dinosaurs. That's right Mythic: Nothing gets past me.

BTW, This post is dedicated to Hallu, the greatest, smartest, most generous and dedicated guild leader in the history of the game and the most awesome person on earth, next to the black guy in the Old Spice commercials.

PBAOE spammers get spayed and neutered, finally

2010-05-14T12:46:00.000-07:00

Cry me a river, crappy sorcs and bee dubs. I think this was a much, much overdue change. My biggest pet peeve about the new city experience, aside from Champions not getting shoulder mounted sharkapults, was how easily these D. Scorched Earth pounding mouthbreathers cut through warbands, especially in Altdorf where almost every movement involved navigating choke point after choke point.

So is this the end of the cookie cutter Bomb Group? There are quite a few skilled Sorcs and BWs, especially on Gorfang, that could tell you no. But for those select, drool soaked snowflakes who think that a screen full of shiny numbers is the greatest thing on earth next to a jingly set of car keys:

I am sorry for your loss.Really.

Oh and by the way, for those of you who haven't done so, there is a thread on the official forums asking for feedback about the Weekend Warfronts. I am disappointed at how few responses are up there and I personally think WWs could used a lot of improvement. So stop by, pick a nice pretty color to type your responses in (I picked Light Urple) and jump on Andy Claus's lap and tell him and his magical workshop elves all the things you want to see in game. Which better include Chicken Scenarios.

OR ELSE.

City test/Uncle Andy's Barnyard Jamboree

2010-05-05T12:26:00.000-07:00

[Edit: added screenshots from 5/6/10 tests also]
Last night we were treated to an even shinier and polished city experience. All my attempts to break shit were futile, and as cynical as I try to be, I'm pretty convinced this new IC and Altdorf are the most fun encounters I've had in RVR. Plus we got to sample a super entertaining smorgasboard of action, adventure and silliness, including but not limited to the following:

Cows on roids

Lizards in denial

Chickens on roids

Bacon a la carte

Ridiculously good-looking chickens on roids

Special guests

the Macy's Bastard DPS Class Parade

Full-service Epeen enhancement

and yes I had to see if giant Polar Bear was going to work. Mission accomplished.

The bombshell

2010-05-04T09:35:00.000-07:00

I spent this weekend mulling over this news about playing both factions on the same server. I have played both sides of Gorfang before and I have to say playing with Order for a change was the most fun 3-4 weeks I ever had in this game. Unfortunately, even though it's a blast getting to run around and play with people you otherwise would never get to cooperate with, experience tells me it comes at a price. People by default don't want to believe you're just playing for fun or the challenge of being the underdog; they assume the worst, and although I never played Order to "help Destro out" or vice versa, I still had to deal with being treated as such. Shit, to this day I still have ignoramuses from both factions sending me vitriol about "crossrealming."

I don't need to say cross realming is retarded. Why anyone would feel the need to cheat at a game that is so fucking easy to begin with is beyond me. I guess people cheat for the sake of cheating? Like when I get cut off on the freeway by douchebags going 80 down the emergency lane, they just want to get ahead because they can? If everyone was mature and used common sense this idea would be great, but in reality there are plenty of people on each side who aren't mature enough to handle the opportunity. And I'm not talking only about the cross realmers themselves.

There are players on Gorfang, that honestly think every fucking time a zone lock fails, or if the enemy even shows up, it's because "Cross realmers are helping Order/Destro out!!! Derp de DERRR!!!" This tinfoil hat bullshit is more harmful to our side than cross realming itself, in that it cripples our realm's ability to work as a team. When no one is comfortable communicating with each other in /1, /t4 or even vent, coordination is lost, especially in open warbands where trust is most likely to become an issue. Hence we have people who think they are doing our realm a solid as they refuse to join/let each other in warbands, refuse to coordinate with other WB leaders, refuse to fucking work together and yet sit there in wide-eyed disbelief when our forces fall to pieces.

The risk of cross realmers actually being out there of course hinders the chance of pulling off a successful surprise ambush, which is probably my favorite thing to do in ORVR, but this is not like Battleship where peeking over the partition can completely ruin the game. Whether or not you are unfairly gaining tactical information, in Warhammer the plastic pegs have to actually fight the plastic ships before you can say ZOMG you sunk my Martyr's Square or Hatred's Way. If your forces are not prepared to respond to incoming enemies, whether you know they're coming or not, then you fucking fail. In most zones/scenarios there are only a handful of places the enemy could be at or attack from, it doesn't take cheating to get a pretty good idea where the other team is/might be going.

I worry that this will now be a catch-all excuse for sucking miserably in RVR. Instead of sitting back and thinking critically, "Gee whiz, what can we do better next time," shitty players will jump on any excuse to point the finger at anyone but themselves. If these idiots stopped and actually thought about it, the amount of sensitive information to be gained from cross realming is so limited that the effect is minimal, if any, if your warband(s) play smart.

Andrew nailed it with his idea about a 6 day lockout timer for switching sides. I would be happy with this or even a couple weeks. I am giving Mythic the benefit of the doubt as I am assuming they have a much better-justified reason to do this than what was outlined in the Producer's Letter. I just hope they recognize the real harm from this news exists not in the elevated risk of cheating but in our newly exacerbated unwillingness to cooperate with our own fucking realm.

Farmfest Crater, Hallu is insane and other news

2010-05-02T13:36:00.000-07:00

Doomfist Crater, the second-worst SC in the history of the game reared it's ugly head again this weekend. Are you guys sick of these SCs already? Instead of recycling these same scenarios each weekend I wish they would fold some new ones into the mix. I would kill to have a 12 v 12 chicken scenario: Stick 24 chickens on a farm somewhere, give every chicken one ranged ability and an exploding egg or something they can deploy on the ground, and let us peck each other to death. No healing, no bomb groups, no dumbass guards, just pollo e pollo awesomeness for like 15 minutes. Because I will never get my chicken trophy otherwise.

Arsenal adopted almost 2 million new members in April which means Hallu is now the official Angelina Jolie of Gorfang. so many cherubic little snot-nosed rerolls and re-subscribers running around in the past 2 weeks that I can't even keep them all straight. I am excited to have all these new baby brothers to play with, but after running with many of you for a bit, I can't be nice about it: some of you just flat out suck. Gear isn't the problem, it's a fundamental lack of skill. I think the new city changes will magnify this issue and make it very, very clear to everyone how important it is to be a reliable player. So stop sucking already.

Oh and Keagen dinged 80 finally. Being 80 isn't so special anymore but considering he's a magus, I am super proud! So go tell him how great he is. It's about time, congats sir :D

Speaking of new city, it's fun as all hell. I can't wait for it to go live. It really feels more like a siege, instead of "hey guys, go play musical BO flags for an hour and here's some PVE at the end." There is so many more layers of strategy to consider now, and most of all it's 100% based on KILLING EACH OTHER. This is how it should have been from the beginning. I wish I took more screenshots, but here are some kinky pics of Karl getting paddled by Mr. T because he secretly enjoys it. And we all really like to watch.

My Live Event item is gone, and that empty space is just breaking my heart. I find it extremely hard to cope with everyday life without that extra 16 willpower to comfort me. So here's to hoping for a live event to happen fairly soon so I can feel competent again. Because after two months of healing like a superhero and telling all these rock star premades to take a fucking number, I can't even get a group. My suggestion if your LE item has expired, is to run and hide so nobody can inspect you and see what a broke ass loser you are. Gorfang brothas roll with rubber band banks in our wallets and nobody here likes no triflin' hoes with empty item slots. For real, yo.

But but but we're so outnumbered!!111

2010-04-27T14:44:00.000-07:00

From this weekend:

The game is dying!!!111
Nobody logs in anymore!!!!111
Order is teh OH PEEEE!!!!111

Oh man this was so much fun. I don't know what or who lit the fire under our asses but I haven't seen a zerg v. zerg like this since the Dragonwake/Caledor renownapalooza last year. I would have liked to see some more big fish out there as I didn't recognize at least half of these names, but still!!!! No more excuses Destro!! I expect this caliber of ORVR to happen every day from now until the end of time. Oh, and LOL at Order chat and Klosh prancing around like a peter pan reject :D

Also if this blog starts looking retarded, it's my fault... I get bored easily and I will be playing around with the layout and colors and stuff this week. If you don't see your site on the magic list over to the right it's not because I hate your guts. It's because I fucked up already and deleted my list, so if you're missing let me know and I'll put you back. Except for Blaze, who I legitimately hate.

(Not really)

New hair and faces for 1.35

2010-04-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

FINALLY! After 1.35 hits, You will have the opportunity to choose from a much wider variety of sultry, seductive, metrofabulous looks for your Warhammer characters. I played around with it a bit last night and I have to say some of the new options are fucking awesome, and some are just.....wow. I assembled a makeover guide to assist you in reinventing yourself after the patch hits. Here is but a tiny smattering of the utter hotness your character can achieve:

The 'Meth Addict'

The 'Unemployed Drummer'

The 'David Bowie for Hot Topic'

The 'Homeless Kate Gosselin'

The 'Super Saiyan Bruce Willis'

The 'Shaniqua Finds a 2 for 1 Sale'

The 'Ginger Coolio'

The 'Greasy Katy Perry'

The 'Fall Out Boy Scissor Accident'

The 'Windy Seacrest'

I have to say I am a sucker for bald heads, but I would kill to have Coolio hair on my zealot. Also it's a shame orcs don't get hair. In addition to all this awesomeness, there are tons of other hair/face combinations that I was too busy humping my monitor to put up. If you don't mind that the page is in Korean, you can check out a few more of the new options here, although I am not sure all of the models on that page are actually going to be implemented.

Awwww yeah, Seacrest Out.

Bottomless snuggles and cookies instead please

2010-04-22T02:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, quick story time: When I was a little kid, before there were MMOs and text messaging and innarwebz, I had to socialize with all my snot nosed buddies by being shuffled to playgrounds and parks and each others' houses; and every single birthday party I ever went to was at this arcade/pizza place called Chuck E Cheese. I remember I was at Chuck E Cheese at one of these parties, and for some unknown reason this stupid ass kid threw a skee ball the wrong way, and it ended up ricocheting out of his lane and hitting me in the fucking head. It was an accident and I wasn't seriously injured, but I remember it hurt like hell. And, naturally, at 6 years old this was the most horrific catastrophe on earth, all these employees and little kids were in shock and standing around me and I didn't know what to do, so I started bawling.

Eventually, I ran to my mom and tugged on her purse strap, and before I could even tell her what the fuck my problem was, holy shit, I looked over and Mr. Chuck E Cheese himself was walking over to me in all his furry glory. He said he was so sorry I got hurt, and gave me a gigantic gold token and said I could give it to the lady at the prize counter and pick any prize I wanted. So I did. Thinking about it now, Chuck E Cheese was a smart son of a bitch, and instead of him getting sued and me being miserable I went home happy with a slap bracelet or neon shoelaces or whatever the fuck it was that I ended up picking. And the moral of the story is I totally forgot about what happened for the rest of that day, instead of being hurt and never coming back. In fact even 20 years later, I still go there every weekend to hit little kids in the face with skee balls. For the sake of nostalgia.

Even though I haven't completely recovered from Mythic's invasion and purge of my bank account, I have to say I am really impressed with this gesture. This is on par with what I was really hoping for, and well beyond what I was actually expecting. Even though I still think getting to beat up developers was a great idea, as far as gestures of good faith and frugal business procedure goes I think in-game compensation was a really smart move and just about the best they could have done in this situation. People are even considering resubscribing, which is awesome.

My only reservation is the effects on the in game economy. Unless these items are on a timer, like the Live Event stuff, Chaos Black and Skull White Dye are two of the most valuable consumables in the game and depending on how many people were affected, the bottomless versions could pretty much kill the value of both. I also feel a twinge of sympathy for the people who ~~paid off random strangers on the street~~ recruited friends to help them get their manticore/griffon mounts. But in general, this is really fucking cool of Mythic. Though I wonder how my FPS will react to 30 or 40 gigantic winged fuckers prancing around on my screen at any given time.

Since we get to pick two things from the goodie bag, I am probably going to pick the Manticore mount and black dye on tap. The only problem is, the account that got hit was the one that paid for my stupid Rune Priest, who has been inactive for months and now only exists to fund terrorism. I guess now he will just be collecting dust in style. My zealot account didn't get touched and sadly, he could have used the new stuff much more. Anyone that isn't sure what to pick, I highly recommend Kossar's Helm/ Polar Bear Mode, even though it's no where near as fun anymore after they took away the bear /special dance T_T.

While everyone is getting a badass renown and experience buff for the next couple weeks, only the accounts affected will be getting the special tokens. But even if you gain nothing else from this whole incident: at the very least, all of you mommies and daddies can rest easy knowing that if your kid ever gets hit in the head with a 1 pound wooden ball... they will probably turn out like me.

Tentacle pie... chart

2010-04-18T08:21:00.000-07:00

After extensive research this weekend, here is a delicious data flavored pie chart detailing why Twisting Tower blows:

The place sucks, particularly if one is solo queueing and communication between players is minimal. Even in vent with my group we were frustrated (What floor are you on?" "THE ONE WITH THE THING IN THE MIDDLE HURRY!!11"). I appreciate that this SC is "harder" than say, Caledor Woods, but as it is now, the amount of fun had in this place is on par with wandering around a multi level parking garage. Maybe if it was 24 on 24 the chances of good fighting would have been higher.

On the plus side, I now have about 200 tentacle pies. Sleep well, order.

Muahahah

2010-04-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

Oh god, I can't wait.

BTW: They changed the schedule, Arsenal's city testing date is now the 22nd only, instead of tomorrow and the 22nd. Teases.

EDIT: I fail. We still get 2 days of testing. The 22nd is our first day. By then I should have my laser beams and flaming shark launcher installed. Thanks for clarification <3

Gorfang: Name these toons #3

2010-04-12T00:15:00.000-07:00

To Gorfang players, here is NTT #3, Director's Cut.

Because everyone failed miserably last time, the prize moola from #2 rolled over into this one. The first person to correctly guess ALL 12 toons in the image below will win 200 Gold. So you know, you can totally buy that one bottle of Chaos Black Dye off the AH that you've had your eye on. Hooray!!!!

Hint: Anyone that gets "I" wrong is fired

Post your answers in the comments section below. Answers will be posted on Thursday.

Good Luck!

Here's how you "make this right"

2010-04-09T20:46:00.000-07:00

Since I am broke this weekend (magically lost another $200 last night due to overdraft fees hitting, putting me over $500 in the hole), I am stuck at home until I get my charges reversed, which probably won't be until Monday.

I am not sure what Business School 101 tricks are going to be considered to diffuse this situation, but I am sure that I don't want a written apology. Save that shit for the banks that had to field hundreds and hundreds of calls this week because of this fiasco. I am not playing Courtesyhammer Age of Minimal Business Etiquette. This is WAR, and I want my satisfaction beaten out of you, Running Man style.

So here is my idea. In addition to a month of free gameplay for everyone affected and the assurance that this will never, ever happen again:

Every developer, billing monkey, CSR and PR employee that hasn't been fed into a wood chipper yet is given a character template (preferably RR80 Chickens, because that would be awesome) and is forced to log on to Warpstone, on a weekend, on a preselected date. If you still work at Mythic and you've never played the game beyond answering tells, boo hoo. Know your product. You have 5 minutes to figure it out until you are all ported into the Praag RVR lake in random locations, to face your penance in the form of your waiting, adoring, sympathetic playerbase.

For four hours each night we get to enjoy a very cathartic stress test. Every time a Mythic Employee dies, he or she has a % chance to drop a crest that's redeemable via CSR for a free month of gameplay, or Mythic merchandise, or an in game trophy, or even ice cream because I can't think of anyone that would be pissed while eating free ice cream.

So not only do we get to beat the ever loving crap out of you all for such a massive screw-up, but we get to have fun doing it, you get to show us you actually care, and free game time is the least you could do after sucking hundreds of dollars out of our meager unsuspecting bank accounts.

"BUT BUT BUT... CODING! HARD WERK!"

BUT BUT BUT SUBSCRIPTION BLEEDING. STFU and do it. I think it will be a blast.

The bottom line is we are mad at you. It breaks my heart to see how many people are leaving/threatening to leave because of this. I am sick of having to say goodbye and good luck to the guys and gals that I enjoyed playing with for so long. Especially in the light of a mistake such as this, the coming weeks are Mythic's best chance to turn a PR nightmare into an example of why so many continue to support this game. You fucked up bad, but we're still here.

Let's kiss and make up, sukkafish.

You know, if you needed cash

2010-04-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

You could have just asked.

Instead of charging my credit card TWENTY FUCKING TIMES. I checked my bank account and I got hit for $16.18 X 20 = $323.60, which means this morning I couldn't even enjoy my usual breakfast of Cristal and pan seared unicorn fetus. I had to go to fucking Wendy's.

While I spend the next 24-36 hours wallowing in poverty, if you're a Wells Fargo customer and Mythic stole your lunch money:

Call 1 (800) 869-3557, PRESS 0 and ask the banker to transfer you to Pamela in Disputes. She even called it Mistake Entertainment which I found pretty funny. Reference the case number for Mythic Heist 2010, which is 2706604.

The excessive charges will be flagged and if Mythic's billing dept. doesn't do it first then your account should be refunded within 7 days.

You're not my real dad

2010-04-05T15:05:00.000-07:00

I didn't want to meet with you anyway you stupid jerks

*slams door*

quickie

2010-04-01T14:20:00.000-07:00

Warhammer land is boring me to tears this week, but holy shit PVP IRL last night.... UFC Fight Night w/ Roy 'Om nom nom' Nelson vs. that 7 ft. tall kid = Hahahahah ha! Ha! Suck it haters!

Say what you will, fatty can throw a punch. The guy is like the RL equivalent of a slayer or DPS IB. Plus anyone that can rock a mullet and beergut and walk out to Weird Al is qualified to marry me instantly.
I gots standards.

March Mythicness

2010-03-30T13:02:00.000-07:00

If this months bracket upsets weren't enough for you (73 points suckas! HA!) , Mythic posted their picks for the little King Fight 2.0 guild draft today. For Gorfang, my guild Arsenal was selected to test for Destruction along with a huge chunk of our alliance. Only Fatal and League of Light will be representing the Blue Team.

It looks like they picked about 10 guilds total per faction. Maybe we'll be playing against other servers? I kind of really hope so, because we are gassing up the school buses and pain trains as I write this and I was really looking forward to solid competition during city testing.

I don't need to say how thrilled Gorfang Order is for the two guilds that will be representing them but I will say if they are keeping servers segregated for testing..... then League of Light and Fatal I really hope you pull some Emilio Estevez Mighty Ducks shit out of your asses, lest your king gets dropped like 3rd period French.

The first horses cross the finish line

2010-03-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

Because there is so little left to achieve in Warhammer, just want to say grats to the following ~~no life losers~~ players who have completed the insignia grind and as of right now are the first on Gorfang to be rocking the Royal weapons:

Carys
Hallu
Kano
Murdurus
Notensack
Raylando
Beniceplease (i think)
Mythicall (i think?)

So if you see any of these players on your screen, do yourself a favor and run the other way. Unless it's Raylando, who is probably running away already.

I feel like I am forgetting someone, let me know if I left you out.

Bright Wizards: Paragons of skill and finesse

2010-03-19T03:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, I was filling out my FAFSA today, and I looked it up, turns out Bright Wizard College is not even an accredited institution. I fucking knew it! Judging by the way the alumni here on Gorfang play, BWC is probably just some dude at a podium huffing orange paint and lighting his cat on fire.

With 1.35 on the horizon and the upcoming changes to BW/Sorc DPS spells/modifiers I predict an increase in the amount of bomb groups running amok in Scenarios and RVR lakes. And I am terrified, because nothing in this game screams I AM SKILLED like stacking 3 redhead mouthbreathers in a 6 man group. I admire the plight these stalwart warriors cast upon themselves, if only to serve as an example to others. Really.

Because playing a BW is hard as hell, and clearly not for everyone, as you can see by these sobering statistics, and we are in dire need of more. However, it has become apparent to me that 98% of Gorfang BWs have no fucking idea what they are doing. But it's OK, I think I can help. Below you will find a written test from the glory days of BWC that will determine whether or not an aspiring stepchild possesses the characteristics demanded to break out and become one of today's most effective bee dubs.

Should you ever be uncertain about your future as a Bright Wizard, I invite you to take the Bright Wizard College Entrance Exam. This exam is scientifically engineered by TOP MEN using actual words to evaluate whether or not you are qualified to undertake one of the most complex, mentally ~~challenged~~ challenging career choices in the game.

Fill this out completely using a No. 2 pencil and return it to me at your earliest convenience.

The Bright Wizard College Entrance Exam

APPLICANT INFORMATION

Name:
Age:
Phone Number (hot guys only):
Item you are buying me for my birthday (required):

QUESTIONS

1. Are you retarded?

A. Yes
B. No
C. Can't Decide
D. Scorched Earth

2. No, really. Are you fucking retarded?

A. Yes
B. Yes
C. Yes
D. Scorched Earth

3. What qualities do you possess that, in your opinion, qualify you to be a successful Bright Wizard? (Check all that apply)

__A. I do not enjoy a challenge
__B. I secretly hate myself
__C. My buddy plays a Warrior Priest
__D. I burned my tongue on my coffee this morning
__E. I have a thing for redheads
__F. I used to be in Arsenal
__G. Scorched Earth

4. Imagine, you have just finished a full 15-minute Battle For Praag scenario. Your total damage is 747,000. you earned 7 Killing Blows and died 11 times. What do you do next?

A. SCREENSHOT!
B. 8 killing blows; ganking behind the scoreboard = hilarity
C. Hang my head in shame
D. Join Blitz
E. Scorched Earth

5. Would you ever wear this shirt in public?

A. Yes
B. Hell Yes
C. No
D. Exclusively
D. Scorched Earth

6. What about this one?

A. Yes, celibacy is METAL
B. No
C. Are you hitting on me?
D. Scorched Earth

7. Using the following list of fiery and fiery by-product vocabulary, how many super creative BW toon names can your brilliant ass come up with? Use a separate sheet of paper if necessary, but don't hurt yourself.

A. Heat
B. Fire
C. Hot
D. Flame
E. Smoke
F. Carbon
F. Guy
G. Man
H. Explosion
I. Burn
J. Dude

8. Who would you rather?

A. Felicia Day
B. Carrot Top
C. Ronald McDonald
D. Seth Green
E. Ariel
F. All of the above
G. Scorched Earth

------------

Upon completion, should you actually pass this test, I will mail you a certificate so you can print it out and hang it on your wall and feel good about yourself. Because if you honestly believe playing a Bright Wizard is hard, then this is probably the greatest achievement you will ever have and you should savor it like a snifter of Courvoisier.

Also, If you happen to have no idea what the hell a Bright Wizard is but you are willing to endure shitty MIDI music loops and tons of banner ads to find out, I think this game will give you a pretty good idea.

Nerf Maguseses and Shadow Warriors prz

2010-03-10T02:50:00.000-08:00

Maguses? Magi? Whatever.

Keagen is on vacation, so now is the only time I get to make fun of him without getting angry slayers rifted into my face. But honestly, he plays a Magus so I can't be too hard on the guy.

Anyway, he has a blog about endgame Magus stuff, which I highly recommend you read. I'm especially looking at you: rift-failing, stagger breaking, guard pulling, floating failures of Gorfang whom I shall not name. This is required reading for you.

Magi are rare enough as it is but GOOD ones are almost nonexistent. If you are a glutton for punishment and find yourself leveling a Magus beyond tier 1, Keagen is one of maybe 3 on our server that actually make the class look damn good, so I recommend you hang on his every word.

As if you needed proof of his badassery, Keagen already has 8,000 Royals. How many do you have, sucka?

Did someone get lost on his way to the Sucky DPS Convention? (SNAP!) Here is some noob named Andy haxxoring in IC. Reported.

The alternative

2010-03-07T23:18:00.001-08:00

Since Warhammer Online is apparently "dying" and everyone is soooo bored and miserable, I decided to cut my losses and jump ship, so I could start enjoying myself in a different game. I need to find a challenge, and a better way to spend my gaming time. Sorry Gorfang, you got one less RR80 zealot to push around.

I started playing the most hardcore of all MMOs. Better than WOW, Guild Wars, TF2, DAOC and EVE combined:

Yup. I installed and registered for Hello Kitty Online. I have been mustering up the courage to do this for a long time, but it was suggested the other day by the wise and illustrious Notensack on the WHA forums too, so I am ~~blaming~~ crediting him for this brilliant idea.

Here is a super exclusive look at a handful of the fantastic things you can do in this MMO to end all MMOs:

1. Look Smoking Hot!

No other MMO will afford you the opportunity to look like an anime Jerry's Kid quite like HKO. Not only do you have about 4 or 5 hairstyles and skin tones to choose from, but you can also customize your toon with such titillating features as Male or Female, your Birthday, and even your Blood Type. You know, in case you get stricken with Funshine Leukemia or something.

2. Stand Around!

Once you decide exactly how fabulous you really want to look, you get to do what most of you are already doing in Altdorf or IC. Stand around doing jack shit and spamming emotes at people. But answer me this: are there gigantic flowers and talking panda bears chilling in Sigmar's Hammer? Do your /special emotes have animated naked babies stabbing each other with kitchen knives? Yeah, that's what I thought. Pansy.

3. Gather Shit!

In case your loins aren't already frothing over with anticipation, HKO incorporates one of the penultimate staples of MMO gameplay guaranteed to get you hooked for life: GATHERING!
YAY! Gather shit like clovers and sticks and cookies, and level your gathering skill, so you can...you know, gather more stuff... to help you gather other stuff. Whee.

4. Quest for PHAT LEWT!

If you don't enjoy standing at gathering nodes for hours on end clicking one button, HKO is full of creepy animals that want to give you skanky clothing for some reason. Fetch them crap and they will give you tank tops and booty shorts with various stats on it. But what they don't tell you is the clothing you get as quest rewards SUCKS and LOOKS STUPID. All the "good" stuff, surprise surprise, costs actual $$$$ via the in-game Store. Duh.

5. PVE!

There actually IS PVE combat in the early gameplay of HKO, which involves finding starfish or snails or some other shit and "putting them to sleep" by clicking on them really fast. That's it. Right click on shit and hope you hit it hard. Or at least that's all I could figure out. Apparently this game is much too uber for me, because I couldn't kill a single god damn thing before getting killed myself.

Looking at my toon's stat sheet, it appears that later on in the game you will accrue epic lewt that will increase your Crit chance, AP regen and HP. You can also see theres a hotbar at the top for what I'm assuming is extra abilities.

6. PVP!

Psych. There's no PVP. At least as far as I can tell.

Troof be told, I lasted about 45 minutes in this game before I literally felt like throwing up. I got a headache and had to log off before I started dry heaving. The Hello Kitty techno music constantly blaring in my ears and the super saturated magenta EVERYTHING on every screen was just too hardcore for me. I am clearly not ready for an MMO experience such as this.

I actually should get a medal for lasting longer than 5 minutes in what equates to the glittery aborted lovechild of IMVU and a Sanrio Trapper Keeper. So I dare you all to unsub your carebear WAR accounts and try out some of the hard stuff. You can pick up where I left off and will never return, on the "Wonderful" server.

EDIT: I have since come crawling back to WAR. Baby, I'm sorry! You're the only one for me, I swear. Please take me back. We can work through this...

Karl dies, Thukar is awesome and other news

2010-03-07T09:20:00.000-08:00

This weekend Karl Franz died once again and there was much rejoicing everywhere in our alliance. Except Arsenal. Because we were busy learning a valuable lesson about the new patch.

We were in the process of killing the king and got him to stage 2 with only a few minutes left on the Contested timer and 3 or 4 people still alive. Thankfully 2 of those were healers so we started to rez up the warband. But then it was decided that manually rezzing everyone would take up too much time, so everyone should just release and run back quickly. Sure thing. We've done it before, no sweat.

Except for one small oversight: Altdorf was no longer Contested at this point, and as of 1.34, there is no more rebuilding time. DOH. And as 90% of our warband respawned and found themselves loading into the Praag warcamp, the excitement over the king fight turned into a deathly silence. we all got punked.

And somewhere men are laughing, and little children shout; But there is no joy in Mudville — mighty Arsenal had struck out.

I don't even have balls but I felt like I was just kicked there. The King at least was killed and people were able to get hooked up with loot on Destruction. Which is important, because right now we don't have the organization or morale to successfully push more than once a week. Even our guild didn't have a full warband log on for the first time in months. We had to PUG about 6 people. It infuriates me that Destro gets demoralized so quickly, if the push fails, why not try again? Order seems to have this idea down pat. If you get screwed, so what? Do it again. Whereas over in the red corner, one thing goes wrong on Destro and everyone logs off.

I don't buy the "Boo hoo we're outnumbered", "WAH WAH Order Zerg" BS anymore. I know we have more people logging on now after the patch because I see them all AFK in IC or humping mailboxes in warcamps. There was almost 100 people online this weekend in our alliance alone. I don't know what its going to take short of Mel Gibson or Gerard Butler to motivate you, Destro. If you want me to get in vent and start screaming at you in a Scottish accent I will.

On the bright side, Thukar, the big daddy of all Rune Rriests, hit RR80 last night.
Now, seeing people ding 80 is becoming more common, as most veteran Gorfang toons are coming of age. But this little midget is arguably the best RP on the server and likely the game. I am so happy he finally got his spot at the cool kids table. There is very little to do as an end game player nowadays, and now Thukar has even less to look forward to. I was honored to give him his last purple numbers last night as he got a KB on me with his stupid staff. GRATS MANG <3

EDIT: Holy crap, right after I posted this, Deer went ahead and dinged RR80 too. YAY DEER! I don't have any good pics of him but here is a shot of me getting special favors from his alt. And a guy with a puppet. At the same time. Because that's how I roll.

My nurgling

2010-03-02T22:32:00.000-08:00

I made this little guy last year out of polymer clay, because I think nurglings are cute as hell and I wanted one. He chilled on my desk for a few months and then I ended up giving him to a little kid at a tabletop gaming shop who was obsessed with Chaos gods and Warhammer lore and all that. Anyway I thought I would share:

When I had him on my desk at work, one of the women in my office would always compliment me on my Oscar the Grouch doll. "Oh I just love Muppets! Hee hee!"

Hold the line!

2010-03-02T19:15:00.000-08:00

The other day my group was bored in IC waiting for SCs to pop, so we decided to stand in a line.

I don't know why. But then more people joined our line. They didn't know why either.

Pretty soon random people started getting in line without even asking, and it just grew and grew.

We had almost everyone in the city standing in a damn line for at least 10 minutes. For what?

I stopped taking screenshots at this point because I was laughing so hard, but it got bigger. I dunno, I guess you had to be there. Hell, everyone else was.

I just wish Destro was this cooperative when we're in the other city, dammit.

Stop fucking swearing at me

2010-02-28T07:57:00.001-08:00

Actually don't, because Ironclad is a blast. Although I'm not sure if people are swearing at me to get the unlock or if they just hate my face T_T, but if there's only two things I'm allowed to love, it's flipping off my monitor when I get a PUG group, and pirates. And small scale combat. Plus hearing dwarves running around yelling PISS OFF just makes me all happy inside! I know a lot of people hate this SC, but it's an AOE caster's wet dream, great for hide and seek, and fun as hell for melee DPS. I feel for ranged classes, however, because seems like there is very little they can do in the interior levels of the ship.

It would be awesome to have more of these small scale SCs, even a LOTD themed scenario that was 6v6 and incorporated more of the same dynamic terrain features that Ironclad has. Mines and orcapults are WIN. An SC with little annoying traps and stuff around BOs like in TOVL would make me very happy.

Also, I decided that the insignias/emblems that we accrue and the Destro NPCs from which we buy the new RVR weapons need to be named something else. I'm not a literary genius, but I really think that collecting "Invader" insignia to give to a "Vanquisher" NPC to buy an "Infamy" or "Anathema" weapon, and collecting Conqueror insignia to give to an "Officer" NPC is way too convoluted for simpleton buttonmashers (not me). There should have been one or two vendors named something like Jim and Rob, with tabs in each of their windows for each tier of weapon. Especially when these guys are chilling RIGHT NEXT to the regular RVR vendors.

Of course I am just looking out for stupid people (not me either) who are oblivious (nope), and broke down regular Invader crests to get more Conqueror before noticing the green ones in her inventory (never).

I like alcohol, and I like WAR

2010-02-25T20:16:00.000-08:00

And any combination of the two equals automatic win.

Although I think these guys missed the perfect opportunity to roll out a Disciple of Krunk Chalice, still these steins are so sweet!

On a completely unrelated note, my birthday is March 27th.

Just sayin.

Gorfang: Name these toons #2

2010-02-25T19:43:00.000-08:00

To Gorfang players, below is the action packed sequel to NTT #1. Except this week I am so confident that nobody will get them all right that I am throwing 100 gold on the table for the hell of it.

The first person to correctly guess ALL 8 toons in the image below will win 100 shiny gold coins and the title 2nd Most Awesomest Person In History. Oh snap!

hint: everyone in this image is RR65+

Post your guesses and name in the comments section below. Answers will be posted on MONDAY.

Good luck <3

Twas the night before patch day

2010-02-24T07:19:00.000-08:00

and all through the guild
the premades were building
and the spots were all filled

but there was no room for Chicken
so she started to cry
"let me heal FFS, i gots weapons to buy."

No SCs, no 6 mans, not even Land of the Dead
when they needed heals they took DOKs instead
and she was left to rot in IC and lust after the new gear
so she went afk and just cried in her beer

Then she said fuck it, and ran alone into Praag
and got jumped by Blitz and some Irony fag
It took 24 Order to stop her from kiting
and as she died she said "Fuck you all! At least I'm out here fighting"

She watched as the Order Zerg /loled at her corpse
And went back to humping BOs and Keep doors
and of course no one noticed when she popped her self rez
and hit flee and yelled "I am awesome no matter what Thukar says!"

Then everyone shrugged and rolled Need on her nog
and she alt tabbed so she could whine on her blog

"One day I will pull a Favre and they'll be sad I'm not here
to heal dumbass destro while they beat on Bangrund or Deer
If you dont want me healing then its your fucking loss
I may be retarded but I heal like a boss"

Then she ate a pop tart, and turned off the light
and said "I can't wait to log on after work tomorrow night
but if patch 1.34 sucks I'm going to be pissed."

And that's the story of Arisechicken, the best zealot to ever exist.

Huntler wins at life

2010-02-22T07:14:00.000-08:00

Grats to Huntler who guessed every image correctly and won the first round of Name These Toons. The answers are posted under comments here. I am very surprised at how well everyone did.

Here is a pic of Huntler doing what he does best, enjoying some grade A polar bear up the arse. Thanks for playing guys <3 Next week will be harder, I promise.

So I finally got to do the 7th boss and

2010-02-21T18:12:00.001-08:00

[me: "hey guys how a--"

everyone: "SHUT THE FUCK UP AHHHHHHHH"]

it's challenging yes, but it honestly was not as hard as I thought it was going to be. The worst part was how everyone was stressed as hell before the fight even started. It just takes cooperation, and 6 people who can STFU in vent, pay attention, and not be retarded. It is probably one of my favorite pve encounters in the game, even though I was crying so hard from Hallu yelling at us I could barely see the aura colors through all my tears.

Below is a beautifully rendered masterpiece that shows the order of the Auras you get before each stage of the fight. To me this was the hardest part. There are two players with each color and everyone has to hump each other in a specific order:

After killing the King's cousins or uncles or ex wives or whatever, the last Blue player to be touched has to be the first person to run into the big gold bubble and attack the boss lady because he will have the Gold Aura of Touching Things First. You'll get the auras 3 times during the whole fight, but you won't necessarily get the same color each time.

I think this chick and her color crap is the hardest boss in TOVL. The 8th boss went down like a fat girl on prom night today, and I'd like to blame this guide for our horribly botched World Boss attempt after.

MST3K is better than you

2010-02-19T06:26:00.000-08:00

I could not sleep at all last night(again) so I fired up Netflix and watched a few episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000. When I was little, I used to love this show because of the puppets, even though I was too young to get 90% of the show's brilliance.

Now I am 25 and I have to say MST3K was/is without a doubt the greatest TV show in history. I really wish it stuck around longer, but alas, that's showbidness for ya.

When I get some disposable income, I think I am going to cross the next threshold into Nerdhood and build my own Tom Servo. For less than $200 in parts I think it's worth it. I would take him everywhere, especially to the movies to embarass my uncultured friends, and work to harass my jackass cubicle neighbors.

If you have streaming Netflix on Xbox, I recommend the episodes Werewolf and Horrors of Spider Island.

Gorfang: Name these toons

2010-02-18T07:31:00.001-08:00

Going to try an experiment. If you're bored at work or waiting for SCs to pop or porn to download you can play along. I don't know how easy or hard this is going to be, but I will start with some easy toons. Can you guess who all these fruit loops are?

hint: Everyone in this image is RR65+

Post your guesses and your name in the comments section below. First person to guess them all correctly wins 10 internets.

The Ultimate Guide to getting killed by the World Boss

2010-02-18T02:42:00.000-08:00

After you kill King Acetaminophen 200mg The Vulture Lord, the 8th boss in TOVL, You get the opportunity to play with his gigantic friend. I'm sure he also has some awesome long as hell foreign name that nobody bothers to pronounce. Which is probably why he is so pissed at us.

In America we don't take kindly to these camel jockey terr'ists with the fancy pants names, so here is what everyone calls The World Boss, or Big Statue Guy. And since Gorfang's chalice runneth over with experts in this field, here is how to piss him off:

World Boss Guy has a variety of spells that he will try to impress you and your friends with. The green spell effect you see here is called "Jazz Hands" and when it appears everyone, especially your main healer, has to stand around and take screenshots until it's over. Next you can run up to him and give him five.

After Jazz Hands he will bust out his "Don't Leave Me Hangin, Brah" and when this happens everyone has to run over and give him another five, or he will develop a huge complex and break into your home when you're at work tomorrow and microwave your cat. You actually should take the advice of your friends and probably just run away at this point.

If you run too far he will attempt to build everyone a sand castle. Don't worry, he sucks at it. You have 30 seconds to knock it over and make him cry.

World Boss Guy will occasionally pull everyone in the zone together for his 30 second Awkward Group Hug. You'll just have to sit there and pretend to enjoy it until he's done. It's harder than it looks....do you see some of the people in these pictures? Ugh!

That's right, brosephs, time for White Guy Fist Bumps. Don't get too close to his Fists, ever, or he will attempt to give you Props. This may or may not turn in to Respekt. Or a noogie. Whatever.

If you're lucky there will be so many Props to go around that he will tire himself out. I don't know about you, but my favorite thing to do to guys that pass out before I'm satisfied is attempt to hack their neck off. Although I don't recommend attacking this guy's neck at all, because he may actually die as a result. Just take his wallet, draw a penis on his face, and call it a day.

If you die, it's either a bug or hax, and you probably didn't deserve it. Don't respawn, just wait patiently for someone to rez you. Make sure you spam /region asking for rezzes also, because healers generally aren't very bright and we are rarely paying attention to anything. Anyone that tells you to "run back" is just being lazy, so make sure you yell at them in CAPS LOCK as much as possible for being so stupid.

If you don't follow this guide exactly, there is a small chance World Boss Guy will probably die. When that happens, to punish you for being such a bunch of assholes, he will stick a few pages from his signed copy of Twilight into some goodie bags and give them to your group, which you should find in your inventory and immediately destroy because those books are the gayest thing ever and everyone knows gay is highly contagious.

After everyone has successfully wiped, then... congratulations! you can all queue for scenarios and get out of LoTD and live happily ever after because thats what you should be doing anyway and PVE is stupid.

Good Luck!!

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T08:41:00.001-08:00

I hope everyone has someone to snuggle with today. If you happen to be single and not completely insane, my email address is over there ------>

Oh and remember, Godiva > Russel Stover.

We're on a boat

2010-02-12T19:46:00.001-08:00

sort of.

Pool party w/ blitz the other day, no flippy floppies :(

I hate Dammaz Kron

2010-02-10T18:40:00.000-08:00

I downloaded Dammaz Kron a while back because I told myself, as fun as it may be, I should really not fling myself into 5 warbands of Order anymore. It would be nice to see a record of how I fare against other players and keep track of who is destroying me.

Dammaz Kron is used by at least 85 billion members of T4 Destruction worldwide and the statistics contained within are often upheld as the ultimate metric of e-peenery. I've decided this mod is not designed to be used by healy specced healers. Nor is it designed to be used by DPS classes with ADHD and piss poor judgement. While recording who finishes you off and who defeats you and is defeated by you the most is nice to have, I have noticed two things this mod is also very effective at:

1. Promoting poor target selection

One of the keys to winning skirmishes against an organized group is akin to giving a great massage to a hot guy/girl; apply pressure on the right targets in the right order until they melt into a puddle of submission. So many times I will drop like a rock to Order's melee masseurs, not because I'm not paying attention (pshh, me? never), but often it's because, after using all my CC abilities to get these pissy dwarf choo choo trains out of my face and going into oh-shit mode, I look around for HALP in the form of some melee DPS. And thank god, here comes a choppa/Witch Elf/whatever; heroically charging as hard as he can. Away from me. Far away from me. To chase down some 37 BW running across the map, because he is "-1 on that bitch."

Grudges are part of the lore and spirit of the game, and I'm probably the biggest proponent of having fun, but as far as teamwork goes, don't let your stats impede on being a team player. If your team is depending on you, you better fucking oblige them. The +1 you're after needs to take a backseat to assisting who needs assisting and winning the fight. Winning and/or putting up a solid fight begets its own rewards.

2. Shitting in my corn flakes

I'm the Blue-Ribbon Chicken, motherfuckers! Order cower in fear, Destro throw themselves upon my Sovereign booties. That 4K heal crit that just saved your suicidal ass? Mine. The hottiest HOTs, the rezziest rezzes, the buffiest buffs.... yep, all me baby. But don't type out your groveling gushy /tells of love and affection yet, sucka, please; I'm too busy being a badass to read them.

Sarcasm aside, I've maintained that being a healer is like working in IT. I don't usually hear about anything unless something goes wrong. Which is fine. But, while it may be like an extra congratulatory fistbump to a DPS or tank player, to me that little Dammaz Kron drum roll is almost never a good thing. It's more like the dog in Duck Hunt, existing only to rub in the fact that I died. Except instead of just pointing and laughing he stabs me in the heart with a 2x4 soaked in lemon juice. And twists before pulling it out.

I am not a player that is apt to get many (any) killing blows. the ones I do get are few and far between because I rarely get to spec DPS. But still, when I am looking at DK and I am -10 or more to everyone on Order and their AFK mothers, it makes me feel less like a "somewhat capable preventer of death" and more like a two dollar Thai hooker. Even when I get a killing blow I am usually still at a negative score to whoever died. Boo.

Dammaz Kron is great if you're DPS or a tank, but it's not for me. I have a decent idea of who I need to watch out for, and for now I think as far as KBs are concerned, ignorance is bliss. I wish there was a Healmaz Kron, that showed healing done on certain players and healing to damage output ratios and stuff like that. That would be so sweet. So next time you see me out and about, remember that I am crushed and I need a lot of love and affection to get over the scars that DK inflicts on my fragile ego. Instead of kicking my teeth in, please hug me and tell me everything will be OK and let me eat my corn flakes in peace. Thanks.

This made me laugh

2010-02-10T18:35:00.000-08:00

From NBC sports.

Karl gets triple teamed

2010-02-07T12:35:00.000-08:00

I am happy/relieved we ended up with 3 king kills this morning after being double backhanded last week. A few of the guards were super cranky today but I think it's because they are Jets fans and secretly hate themselves.

Everyone's spirits have been so down as of late; hopefully this will coax some more Destruction players to come out of hiding for some better RvR/SC action during the coming weeks. Which reminds me, we all need to queue as often as possible and enjoy all these SCs while we still can.

I'm gonna go watch the SB, GREAT JORB DESTRO!!! Here is Hallu, Arisechicken, Huntler, Bashtuk, Babanim, Aldel, Kafziel and Keagen singing you a special song:

AUTOBOTS ROLL OUT

2010-02-06T13:57:00.000-08:00

Nobody else wanted to play Transformers today. Their loss.

Look how cute these guys are :D

Crossing my fingers

2010-02-05T16:34:00.000-08:00

Perhaps they have realized the error of their ways. Maybe they saw this post and felt intrigued... enlightened... awestruck.

The fact that Mythic said they are going "back to the whiteboard" with their dreaded revision of the scenario system gives me a wary glimmer of hope yet for the future of WAR. They actually listened (whatever that means) to the undeniable cries of W-T-F.

I am hopeful, though knowing Mythic's modus operandi I would not be surprised if the holy scripture of their whiteboard was just some lame quotes from Joe Dirt and a drawing of a cat.

FRAPS: Kafziel Vs. White Lion

2010-02-04T20:43:00.001-08:00

Link (via Youtube)

Kaf is such a badass. He showed me this last week. (note the speed hax on Leonine Frenzy)

Midgets Galore

2010-02-03T19:48:00.001-08:00

1.34 RVR Weapons for Destruction

2010-02-02T20:48:00.001-08:00

Because Destruction is Awesome. This is a really sloppy cut and paste job, I tried to categorize them best I could before I got bored:

Patch 1.34: Save our scenarios

2010-02-02T11:12:00.000-08:00

The one saving grace and my favorite part of this game is the exceptionally fun PVP, namely the scenarios, and now with Patch 1.34 they are....Surprise!... taking half of them out of the game. Not just the crappy ones that nobody likes, ie Thunder Valley and Stonetroll Crossing (ugh), but some of our favorites like Caledor Woods and Khaine's Embrace are biting the dust. Instead they are sticking Nordenwatch in every single tier, and graduating the amount of scenarios available per tier.
EDIT: I fail at reading, they're leaving us with 6 fucking scenarios. SIX. Out of the 26 we currently have.

How the hell did they arrive at these decisions? Was there a vote on which SCs to keep that NOBODY in Tier 4 was aware of? Or is Mythic TRYING to bleed as many subscriptions as they can? I can't imagine the Free To Play crowd being convinced of the benefits of a paid subscription by being promised more of the same.

The good in this patch, I guess, is that it looks like all scenarios will be available regardless if corresponding zones are locked or not. But, although I have no qualms with Nordenwatch, I don't really know how many times I could play it before my zealot hangs himself from the fortress bridge. I remember in the early months of Warhammer, the only SCs that ever popped were Tor Anroc in T3 and Serpent's Passage in T4. It got old fast and people quit as a result, before it was fixed.

My ideal scenario makeover would be something like this (6 or 12 players per side):

TIER 1:

Tor Anroc (6)
Nordenwatch (12)
Logrins Forge (12)

TIER 2:

Tier 1 scenarios, plus:
Dragon's Bane (12)
Gromril Crossing (6)

TIER 3:

Tier 1 scenarios, plus:
Serpent's Passage (6)
Khaine's Embrace (12)

TIER 4:

High Pass Cemetery (12)
Mourkain Temple (6)
Reikland Hills (12)
Maw of Madness (6)
BFP (12-24)
Caledor Woods (6)
Serpent's Passage (12)
Gates of Ekrund (6)

Warhammer Online Dye Color Guide

2010-01-31T21:11:00.001-08:00

For the longest time, I have been looking for an easy reference to the various colors you can dye your armor in the game, and come up fruitless. So this weekend, I put together a chart showing a swatch of every dye color available in game. The colors are all based off of the Citadel paints used for the Warhammer TT figures. Hopefully this takes the guesswork out of choosing a suitable color combo for your characters. I usually run with all Enchanted Blue because it looks awesome, and it's always cheap on the AH :D

If I am missing any colors, please let me know so I can update it. Thanks and Enjoy!
UPDATED 2/3 - added various Quest Reward colors.
NOTE: Colors may vary slightly based on your monitor gamma/calibration/whatever.

City pushes this weekend

2010-01-31T17:54:00.000-08:00

Dear Destruction,

Love,
Order

who Fights on the Flag?

2010-01-30T19:33:00.000-08:00

This guy, albeit not very well.

Deer!!!

2010-01-30T19:25:00.001-08:00

Three of my favorite woodland creatures.

Title says it all

2010-01-30T13:10:00.000-08:00

Storing various screenshots and whatnot here since WHA hates my face.